Seeking Paradise

“It has happened before, and it will happen again. An endless cycle of life and death. The world is a Paradise that was opened by someone, but this era too is almost at an end.”

  My first unlucky encounter of this so called spider started in 2011. I was torn up about my previous ex and her cheating ways. She cheated on me and then disappeared from life. more on this relationship later. I suffered for a few months after this woman left me. i swore id never want to talk or meet another one as long as i lived and that didn’t last long. six months had now passed and out of the blue i heard from my ex. she came up with some bullshit about her losing my info and not being able to call me. and then after that didn’t work she had contacted me but i never replied… I called her a liar and she kept going with it. at this same time i had started playing this epic game and met this woman on there. She was a random add to our group and with this same group we had added everyone to our Skype chat. Right when i heard her voice in there i fell hard. She had an amazing laugh and a voice of an angel. She was smart and funny. right away that nite we clicked so well. We spent hours talking after we finished playing that nite. I felt as if i found the best friend i had since i was a baby and had finally reconnected with her. we shared so many things in common.

  Within a few weeks or less i wanted desperately to date her…

(to be continued)

-Seeking Paradise

“When are we born? When do we die? Why are we born? Why do we die? The world has been destroyed and we’ve fallen countless times, always resurrecting from the ashes as Paradise.”

  I just love when i forget to do something and i don’t have much time to go back and complete it. I really need to do this earlier so i can write about something other then how tired i am. Last nite i was playing this game and we were having a hell of a time and when we finally finished it was super late. went to bed around 2am and had to wake up at 7am. i really need some sleep. so sorry to the (0) fans out there and creepers that wont see a great post form me tonight. at least the quote above was good.

  one thing to add before i go. i seem to think of my ex every nite before i go to sleep. i don’t know why i do this but i do and its every damn nite. its been well over a year since our break up but there is still an ache in my heart. i really wish i could find some one better and erase that biznitch out of my mind. ugh.

  Well good nite all you lost souls. i hope you find your way to paradise and save me a spot if you get there before me.

-Seeking Paradise

“They say there’s no such place… as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there’s nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it’s always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that… Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me… It says, ‘Search for Paradise’. ”

     So day two and i already want to quit writing lol. I’m not one to stick with something for to long if it requires to much to keep it going. effort is there i just lose interest. but then there is another side to me that is driven and sticks with things.

*Side note i am not a scholar of the English language and there for i will not have perfect grammar and that’s makes me who i am im not perfect and it will show. so hopefully that wont put you off from reading my stories and what i have to say.*

I’m going to go into a lot of detail on here about all different kinds of things and one of those topics is relationships. I haven’t had a single good relationship my whole life. I’ve tried my hardest to make things work even when i don’t want them to. I’ve never cheated on anyone I’ve dated. but on the flip side I’ve been cheated on by every girl I’ve gone out with. i don’t know why it happens but it does. I’m like a fucked up chick magnet. I’ve never met someone healthy mentally or physically. I haven’t searched for some one that is one of those two i just seem to attract the ones that aren’t. i wish that wasn’t the case. I’m driven to fix things and i like and i dislike that in myself. I have a big heart and people seem to always take advantage of that.

I’m great at helping others but it seems when it comes time for helping myself I’m instantly set on fire and cant find anything to put it out with. some day i would love to hear someone offer me help on something or listen to what i have to say about myself. that right there is one of the reasons i wanted to start writing something like this. I need an outlet to get myself out there and be heard. well im going to call this a rant and stop it for the time being. ill be back tomorrow for another eh so so episode :P

-Seeking Paradise

“All stories, even the ones we love, must eventually come to an end and when they do, it’s only an opportunity for another story to begin.”

This is the start of my story. My life right here out of order and as it happens. It isn’t fun to start at the beginning of a story you have to jump around a bit to get people into it. This first post is going to be a dull one and i promise it will get better.

Tonight i was alone like most every nite. I live a simple life. I work and come home and play video games with my free time. That’s pretty much all that happens in my day to day life. I’m working on changing that and hopefully writing on here will help that. so back to my night… I’m here alone as usual same story for every holiday. I’ve been alone without a loving partner for my whole life. i long to feel what it would be like to have someone to kiss at midnight on new years eve. hopefully in the near future it may be different but for now its a lonely road that i travel.

That’s it for now. I’m tired and its new years day 2013. i hope this year is my year.

good nite.

-Seeking Paradise